Random thoughts, observations, and opinions of a software engineer in corporate America.
by Garnet R. Chaney
Published on July 19, 2004 By CS Guy In Humor
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make t! hem aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed insolitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Comments
on Jul 19, 2004
I've seen something similar to this, I think it's really funny. There's one about dogs, too. You'd like it. It makes them out to be really dumb.
on Jul 19, 2004
It makes them out to be really dumb.


Not like they need any help in that field.
on Jul 19, 2004
www.mycathatesyou.com
on Jul 19, 2004
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's pretty funny. I'm a dog person, so I prefer the pepsi commercial where the dog eats the sandwhich, drinks the pepsi, and puts the cat on the counter next to the empty plate and can, but this diary is good.
on Jul 19, 2004

Ever see the Cookies and Twix commercial where the little boy tears up the box of snacks, throws the wrappers all over the and around the dog laying on the floor, stuffs the treats into his bag and yells "Ma! Rufus ate all the Cookies and Twix again!"?


Yeah, you'd never catch a cat letting you do that.