Back when I was a Lecturer at university, my boss and I would often tease each other about dogs. She was a fervent dog lover, and I do not like the slavishly moronic beasts. This one morning I arrived on campus and proceeded to the department office to check my mail. It was a beautiful spring day, and I was in a pretty good mood. So I enter the office as my boss is leaving. She sees a smile on my face and asks in a slightly sarcastic tone, “What’s got you in such a good mood?” I r...

“I said that if people tell you your mother is not prime minister anymore, you just turn around and say, 'So what? How often has your mother been prime minister?'” Benazir Bhutto , Former Pakistani Prime Minister recounting advice she gave her children

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.” Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.” Michael Levine - Lessons at the Halfway Point

A friend once told me about his experiences working in a bank, and the lesson about perception that he learned there. This bank employed several women as cashiers, and the bank manager would often offer these women “promotions” rather than raises. So a girl would get a title like “first assistant to the associate cashier” rather than a 3% pay increase for the year. And these women accepted this treatment. At work one day, a few years ago, the subject of whether I could make one of my c...

In an article recently, someone asked what I see first when I look at a woman. I replied “the neck.” Sir Peter then asked me if I were a vampire. The answer, it seems, is perhaps. Let’s break it down. I am a night person. I always have been. My mother was always amazed if I got out of bed before noon on the weekends. When I was a lecturer I made a deal with my boss not to schedule any of my classes before 10:00 AM. Over the years I have noticed a definite increase in energy, st...

“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.” -Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

“People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts.” Robert Keith Leavitt

“When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.” George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Someone was recently expressing concern about how much exposure their bog site gets on JU, and it got me thinking about how people read other blogs. I can think of a few ways for your site to get exposure 1. Your article shows up in the "Recent JoeUser Articles", and people access it from there. 2. Your article gets a comment that pushes it to the top of the "Recent Forum Posts". 3. Brad makes your article a "Featured JoeUser Article", and this can get you a lot of exposure. 4. You b...

“Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.” Homer Simpson

Saturday mornings I like to take a little "me" time and relax. There are several parks in my city, but the one I like the most is the Garden of the Gods. This park has numerous rock formations, all of which are inspiring and beautiful. So on Saturday mornings I will grab some water and head over there and walk the trails. I usually spend about 40 minutes to an hour wandering the paths. Sometimes I will stop at one of the stone formation benches and watch the other visitors marvel at na...

Back when I was an undergrad in college I supported myself by delivering pizzas for Dominos. My school was situated next to a small college town in Mississippi. For those who have never been to Mississippi there are several words that can be used to describe the place. The word I am going to use today is “Trees.” Mississippi is full of trees. Well, 61% of Mississippi’s land is forest. It also has more tree farms than any other state, generates more forestry products than any other sta...

So my next article will be magic 100. I've seen other people celebrate this milestone, and thought I would join in the fun. Problem is that I'm about as creative as a... well, something that isn't very creative. So does anyone have any suggestions for my 100 article celebration? If I don't get any suggestions by the time I feel like writing again, I'm just gonna come up with something lame. And let that be on your conscience!

"After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one." - Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato) "